Stages of Awakening
2 — The Propelled State
Mental/emotional awakening begins and the search for higher consciousness becomes established in your life when you doubt the outer world can satisfy you in any lasting way through your senses, mind, and emotions. You are about to become propelled.
Do you find yourself saying: "There's got to be something better than this! This is not what I want from life. My life has no meaning. Why do things always fall apart? Why is this happening to me?" All these are typical cries of an unsatisfied dark heart which is about to become propelled.
Whether the substantial doubt comes from the conflict between your dream states and the appearances of the outer world, or from heartbreak and near desperate yearning for happiness, you intuitively sense that the external world is not as solid and real as it used to appear. The outer world, the world of the physical body and the senses, along with your mental/emotional commentary, seems to be some sort of great dream, however vivid it may appear. And, however much the dream may have contented your senses with its presumed substantiality, suddenly or gradually you're driven to find answers that satisfy and fulfillments that last.
In the propelled state you are not merely philosophizing about the meaning and the truth of life, you are propelled, literally propelled, to search until you find what you seek. Your heart aches for understanding and meaning. Events in the outer world lose much of their significance and their power over you. You feel an ache, a burning ache, to solve the mystery of your life and to know, in a convincing way, the meaning and purpose of your existence.
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