The indication that your despair is a genuine aspect of your quest for higher consciousness and not an emotional illness will be: does your despair make your life fresher? As a consequence of your compassionate despair you will find yourself becoming clearer and more loving in daily life. You will begin to develop, even while suffering times of despair at night or during other private times, a more cheerful and accepting attitude for the world and for others. Also, your despair will give you greater insight into your own mind and heart. You will find greater patience with yourself. The quality of your despair, which seems so deep and gloomy, will nevertheless lighten your life noticeably. You will find it a joy to be free of tears stored so long in your heart. It becomes a sweet joy to have a despair borne of a concern for higher values and greater possibilities for everyone.
If your despair does not develop compassionate qualities, then it is destructive and you would be very wise to discuss it with a counselor who can help you work through it, and get back on the road to higher consciousness.
Your periods of despair on your path to higher consciousness affirm life. They also affirm your value and your uniqueness as a precious human being. So, even despair has grand dimensions. The goal, however, is to pass through your periods of despair and go forward as quickly as possible. The journey is much too beautiful to be blotted out by watery eyes and otherwise occupied hearts.
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