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The Threshold

Pretensions of Goodness

Usually you embark on the path to higher consciousness with some very good opinions of yourself. You know you’re not perfect but you’re certainly as good as others — perhaps a little better. You’ve often observed many times in life that you were the correct one or did the right thing. Perhaps you’ve been misunderstood but you’ve generally, nevertheless, been in the right. Most often, you feel, people have hurt you, or outraged you, far and away more than you have hurt or outraged them.

Proceeding for a few weeks or months down the road toward higher consciousness, you may begin to get the hunch you’re not as okay as you first thought. In fact, there are times, you now recognize, you behaved like a creep. At other times you did the right deed but for the wrong reason. Your motivation seemed to be kindly but it was — you know within your heart — covertly selfish. You recall you often tried to take the advantage, even with your friends. Indeed, you begin to see you have pretensions of goodness at times without the substance of goodness inside.

Becoming more thoughtful, you easily observe during your daily life that there are times you’re ashamed or embarrassed by your old feelings of jealousy or unreasonable anger toward another person. "No," you tell yourself, "perhaps I’m not as great as I like to think."

Your reflections and observations intensify in the cold light of truth.

Terror of the Threshold 

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